Skip to main content

Embracing



For many years I have dreaded this time of the year. Christmas. Since 1979, December has been one of the most depressing months of all. December is the month in which my mother was called home. The month where all of my dreams were shattered. How can a 16 year old girl within 2 months of delivery of her own child grasp the magnitude of such a horrific crushing of the soul? The month I wanted to sleep away like a bear who makes its way into a cave for that great hibernation. No, I did not leap with joy for the Christmas season to begin, it was a month that I desired desperately to escape without notice.
After much prayer and many tears, I have long since come out on the other side of that dread. I have long since learned to embrace this time as with all time, for no day is promised us. Though my flesh and selfish nature would rather have my mother here with me regardless of her state of being, I am thankful to know where she is and that I will one day see her again. On that glorious day, I will be able to look into her eyes and feel her embrace.

One of my fondest memories of my mother was at Christmas time. I found all of the toys stashed in a closet. I went into that closet, shut the door, and played my little heart out. I don’t remember the exact age, but I guess I may have been around 4 or 5 years old. My mother did not shout or scream when she found me enthralled in toy heaven. She just grabbed my hand, brought me out the closet. I was still happy on that Christmas day playing with those same toys, and just like that day, today I celebrate the reason for the season. After all, it is the most wonderful time of the year.
Many are in that same space of pain and heartache of loved ones gone home. Many have abandoned the idea of celebrating and have taken up a weeping and mourning journey for the loss of their loved ones. To have this pain thrust upon them at a time such is this can and will leave many emotionally vacant. Some will go into anger, depression, blame, and hostility wanting only to use their hands to beat out the rage stirring in their souls. Some will have found their happy space knowing that living is better than being the walking dead. This was my resolve. To embrace the hour and to celebrate my mother’s life instead of creating my own torment.

My brothers and sisters, I have been there and I know well the sour taste in the pit of the soul. Let me share this with you. Jesus is the great comforter. Jesus is that great strength and power when you have none. In Matthew chapter 5 and verse 4, Jesus said this, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I encourage you to rest in that, trust it, believe it, and know without a shadow of doubt, that rest IS yours in the midst of all sorrow.

Be Blessed
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Celebration Of Life

Looking back over my life I can honestly say I did good shoot, I did better than good. Loosing my mother at 16 and me being a teenage mother I didn't crumble, crash and burn. Oh I did a zig when I should have made that zag. I believed too many lies and did not pay attention to the sirens warning me to run for the hills. I have made plenty of mistakes and many I wish I could go back and reverse, but God knew the plans he had for me because His word says that our steps are ordered. I have learned a lot about the psychological makeup of people including myself and that is why nothing surprises me anymore. I am not easily tricked up even though I may act like I don't see it, I do. I expect nothing and appreciate everything. Though I may be different, I celebrate my different because it and God has saved my life.  Bad choices and learned lessons. At 52 there are things that no longer matter as they did when I was young and impressionable. Looking back, all I can say is tha...
6 comments
Read more

I Won't Complain

After a few work days of buses not showing up for their scheduled stops, me getting home close to 2 hours later than normal,  and no good sleep I'm reminded still, how good God is. Even the periodic snaps of depression and anxiety haven't caused me to forget how good God is. The key is encouraging myself because all storms pass. It amazes me to see so many people unaware of the true effects of mental illness. They tell you, get over it. They are the ones who have no debilitating physical or educational knowledge of the struggles. They don't understand the fight everyday to remain in a visual normal state of mind with tending to the tasks requiring your presence. They can't understand why you cry for no apparent reason. Unaware that some wish to lay down at any given time to sleep hoping to never awake again. Unaware that at any moment a fuse can blow in ones mind and all hell can be unleashed. Unaware that they may see beauty or bronze, while a depressive is seeing...
9 comments
Read more

Stop Hiding Your Flaws part 2

In my last post, I talked about our flaws and why we shouldn't hide them. When I say flaw, I do not mean to insinuate worthlessness. No, I am pointing out that what others may see as a flaw, God created as a masterpiece, unique and particular. Yes, everything about you is unique and that is why I express the importance of not hiding. The definition of a flaw: a mark, fault, or other imperfection that mars a substance or object. Our lives are filled with many flaws. Unable to give birth,  unable to read or write, unable to drive a motor vehicle.  Deeper flaws of the physical and emotional are disfigurement,  physical disability,  missing limbs., mental illness.  These are all unique. Why do I say unique?  Because each of the above mentioned is an open door to revealing much more than the flaw itself. It is an opportunity to share and enlighten someone who needs to hear your story and see the winner before them. Courageous. Not defeated or defective...
7 comments
Read more