The Unique View

Self Development for me comes in many forms. Mostly through books,  watching people, and shear failure. My reading taste is huge as one can not rely on one avenue for growth and healing. The detrimental problem that I see today is that many fail due to not investing in themselves, not trying, not seeking, not being hungry for better. It is somehow accepted to complain, blame, and to keep dragging the muck around like a stubborn dog on a chain. People seem to forget when the car was first built, that there was a blueprint. They forgot that the only way they could have graduated from high school they had to go to class, study the books, do the lessons, and pass the tests even if it was by sweat and sleepless nights. Fear will sideline you and will leave a fowl taste in your heart for those who are unencumbered and growing . There is no failure if you don't try. The failure is in not trying. What side of the pendulum are you on? I myself refuse to stay in a state of mental chaos...

For many years I have dreaded this time of the year. Christmas. Since 1979, December has been one of the most depressing months of all. December is the month in which my mother was called home. The month where all of my dreams were shattered. How can a 16 year old girl within 2 months of delivery of her own child grasp the magnitude of such a horrific crushing of the soul? The month I wanted to sleep away like a bear who makes its way into a cave for that great hibernation. No, I did not leap with joy for the Christmas season to begin, it was a month that I desired desperately to escape without notice. After much prayer and many tears, I have long since come out on the other side of that dread. I have long since learned to embrace this time as with all time, for no day is promised us. Though my flesh and selfish nature would rather have my mother here with me regardless of her state of being, I am thankful to know where she is and that I will one day see her again. On that glori...

September 24, 2015 started out like the previous days. Got up, said my prayers, and started my day.   I sat at my desk and wrote in my prayer journal as I do every day.   The email notification read emergency call. I read the email. My heart leaped just a little. The email read, emergency phone call from your son Sean please call right away. My heart raced. Immediately I took my break and made the call. Oh hell is all I could say, when I heard the words from my son that my youngest son Marcus was in an accident. I stopped breathing and my son must have known it, he said mom breath, he is alright. In my head, I knew he was only saying that so I would not freak out. I gathered my things and jetted out. 15 miles away by freeway, I hit the exit and connected with the middle lane and drove as if there were blinking lights and sirens on my car and a loud speaker announcing, GET OUT OF THE WAY. While driving all I could say is, Jesus you got this. Jesus you got this. I arr...