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Showing posts from June, 2016

The Will To Engage - My Journey Through Depression

If we never identify the lies and replace them with the truth, we'll forever crave a healthy life on a diet of poison and always wonder why we are sick. Author Craig Groeschel - Soul Detox I am angry. I am frustrated. I feel stuck. Yes, I try to stay positive, but my thoughts take a journey without my permission. Depression pops up and anxiety kicks in and in the pit I go. Yes, depression is a pit. A pit of despair one cannot understand unless they have travelled the journey. There are days when I want to sleep the week away or I want to crawl under a boulder. Lately, I have been in a good space, not that the stabbing of depression does not cut, I am trying to do my part in healing. Even though I know that in Christ I am healed, I do know as a flesh being, I must take action. As I look back over my life, I have always struggled with stress in some form. Everyday was a struggle to just keep living for my sons. I honestly think that if I did not have my children, I may have e

A Mental State Of Mind- My Journey through Depression

As I journey through clinical depression, I am seeing clearly the areas in my life that I have magnified unnecessarily. I unintentionally allowed my thoughts to become laser focused on where I think I should be in my life and on the goals that I have never been able to achieve. I have not allowed myself to morn the death of those closest to me. I have learned to become a sponge, taking in all manner of other peoples issues. The codependency behavior wants to rise up and fix everything, make it all better. The only thing is, the sponge never got wrung out and I know that I cannot fix anything for anyone. Though I have accomplished many things, there are many goals that have seemed to get pushed back into a dark hole. Feelings of being unworthy of anything good. I have placed a priority note on areas that are of no real use in accomplishing what needs to be accomplished, for me. My life has become what I read in a book about clinical depression, an emotional toothache. In 2006, I l