The Unique View

From a young age I always felt that something about me was different. I am the youngest of 5. The age difference  between myself and my sibling above me is 10 years, imagine the age of the others. I did not connect with many, and those that I did feel a connection with seemed forced or maybe  tolerated. Throughout  my young life I experienced emotional pain. At the age of 7 I learned to retreat within myself and vowed to have no expectations of any kind out of fear. This is also the age when codependency was formed in my mind though I didn't realize  that until I was in my 30's. Abandonment, flaw.  Rejection, flaw. Trust issues, flaw. Broken relationships, flaw. Fear of being hurt, flaw. Fear of failing, flaw. Fear that someone would figure out that I was flawed, major flaw. Feeling inadequate and undesirable, flaw. Many of you are hiding just like I did. Hiding out in your own protective cage due to the fear of someone noticing and rejecting you, or ridiculing you for wha

As of October 2016, I have made some major changes in my life. Some would say, girl, I would not do that. Well, get this, you do not know what you will do until the situation presents itself. I have been living with family. I quit my job of 6 years. Now, I am letting the winds blow through my afro. Yes, I am on a mini retirement or sabbatical.  I don't have an agenda and I am not pressed for time or sleep. Well, I am still an insomniac,  but that's getting better.  Most importantly,  I am being still and really surrendering my heart, mind, body, and soul to the Lord. I struggle with depression and anxiety.  There are times when the sadness sets in and my joy is snatched,  but all Praises to God for His comfort and peace. Though the storm rages, I know the One who calms. Many say, "I don't hear God".  Guess what? God is speaking, it's that your emotional and physical noise level is to loud for you to hear Him. Psalm 46:10 NLT says, "Be still and kn