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Showing posts from August, 2016

In His Strength - My Journey Through Depression

Life alone and all that comes with living is a balancing act. Raising children, house cleaning, shopping, work, and many other chores that we add to our list of  must do's, no wonder our mental health is out of balance. Now, add a serious mental illness of any degree to the equation, and you will no doubt tip the scales and see no signs of balance. With any type of emotional hardship, balancing your everyday life can be a struggle and seem impossible, Guess what my dear friend, you can do it. Webster explains Balance as, the state of having your weight spread equally so that you do not fall, the ability to move or to remain in a position without losing control or falling, a state in which different things occur in equal or proper amounts or have an equal or proper amount of importance. You may find your left foot on one side of the scale in right position, and your right foot positioned lower than your left. You are holding on. Oh yeah! You are doing good at this balancin

Decisions – My Journey Through Depression

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a clean and neat person. Well, not as of late. I absolutely cannot bring myself to empty the dishwasher and load up the few dishes that have sat in my sink, in dishwater for the past few days, well going on 4 days. I have emptied the dish water and refilled the sink with clean soapy water, but I have not had the desire to complete the dish washing process.   Judge me if you will, unless you have faced this horrible illness, you really have no idea what a depressive will face on a day-to-day basis.   To some, making a decision is like chopping off your own hand and watching it bleed.   I can get dramatic. I have talked with other woman to learn that they too face this battle.   Tasks as small as emptying a dishwasher and reloading it, come on, really? Yes, absolutely. I find myself looking around and saying to myself, I need to do that and this, oh and that. I start out on a good groove of hitting every room in my two-bedroom apartment. I

Riding The Roller Coaster - My Journey Through Depression

Depression for me is like a roller coaster ride. It moves slowly at first and then, whoosh, down it goes and then faster it goes up the track. It twists and turns and back down and then up faster and faster. It loops and curves and then, it stops. The depressive moments come out of the blue, literally and take hold just as fast as a roller coaster moving along it’s track.   I don’t play with roller coasters and they don’t appreciate me. I don’t care for amusement parks only due to the mass congestion of people. I do like the exhibits and some of the food, but I have not been to our yearly fair in over 30 years. That is a set up for a major anxiety attack.   Can you relate? Since April 6, 2016, my journey with depression and anxiety has been eye opening and down-right traumatic. The sadness, the dread, the idea that if I have to talk to anyone or go anywhere makes me want to revert back into my cave.   Don’t get me wrong, I talk all day working in a call center, which I have