The Unique View

When God puts up some road blocks in your life, don't look at it no other way than your protection. Why? Because we as humans want to be connected and rightly we should be, but the thing is not everyone is qualified to be connected to you and you are NOT meant to be connected to just anything or anyone. Not everyone has the capacity to truly see who you really are and your God given gift. Instead, see it as God aligning you upwards for a purpose greater than what you can see, think, or even imagine. Remember, you are His light for those who WANT to see His purpose. There is someone watching and waiting for you to glow. There was a time in my life where I wanted and hungered to be connected to everyone that I came in contact with. I wanted everyone to see, know, and trust that I was for them and not against them. I wanted friendships to last forever and when that didn't happen, I was devastated. I remember a connection I had with a sister. I was for her as a friend. I was

We have all had to roll with lifes punches to the gut. Some of those punches have connected and took the wind out of our sails, much like depression where you just can't get out of bed or even take a shower. Other punches have stung us enough to cause us pause, like an anxiety attack in the grocery store in the middle of the day or a traffic jam on the interstate causing you to be more than late. Many of lifes gut punches have left us brused and battered mentally. Ever heard the saying, sink or swim? Are you sinking or swimming? I'm not a swimmer in the literal sense. You won't hear me say, I'm going for a swim. Why? Around the age of 11 or 12  I almost drowned and that feeling of helplessness in a body of water was horrific. I was literally drowning. My family was in Portland, Oregon for a family reunion. My mother pressed and curled my hair. She told me that I could go to the park, but don't get in the pool. It was hot and at this time I loved swimming. Did

Self Development for me comes in many forms. Mostly through books,  watching people, and shear failure. My reading taste is huge as one can not rely on one avenue for growth and healing. The detrimental problem that I see today is that many fail due to not investing in themselves, not trying, not seeking, not being hungry for better. It is somehow accepted to complain, blame, and to keep dragging the muck around like a stubborn dog on a chain. People seem to forget when the car was first built, that there was a blueprint. They forgot that the only way they could have graduated from high school they had to go to class, study the books, do the lessons, and pass the tests even if it was by sweat and sleepless nights. Fear will sideline you and will leave a fowl taste in your heart for those who are unencumbered and growing . There is no failure if you don't try. The failure is in not trying. What side of the pendulum are you on? I myself refuse to stay in a state of mental chaos

Praise God to whom all blessings flow. As I reflect on the current events with experiencing my first hurricane here in Miami, Florida, it has really opened my eyes and heart. What is life if you don't learn anything that will take you to a higher level? In a blink all that we work for and our lives can be snatched away. We strive for material things, but do not have true love and compassion for the human race. We turn our noses up at situations we don't understand or fail miserably at trying to understand, all the while convinced that we somehow have made it. We walk around as if we know the keys to life all the while living in generational chaos. Wisdom and correction is ignored by the so called smart ones. My mother used to say, there are fools and educated fools knowing so much but knowing nothing at all. Those that have so much to say but saying nothing. Look around you and take a few steps back. Be about God's business. Being one who struggles with clinical depre

Often times we allow some of the chaos that enters our lives. We either focus on things of no purpose and ignore the importance of the things that can enhance our lives. None of us are exempt from this, but what we can do is turn up the volume on getting balance and ushering in productivity to move is forward to our best selves. Those who have not experienced mental illness can not relate to a person with any form of mental illness, who struggles daily to get it done. What's the it? What is the root cause? How can we balance? Be still. Get clear, and geting focused is a place to start. In this place of evaluation are the keys to standing in upright balance. Psalm 120:5-6 nlt says, The Lord himself watched over You! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, not the moon at night. Get still . Everyday at all times many are consumed and distracted by cell phones, television, and worthless conversations and connections. Only part

For the past few weeks the desire to write and share is like sitting in a dentist's chair. I loath dentists. They are evil but necessary. Going to the dentist sends my anxiety into overdrive, and I have even broke out in tears in the middle of procedures. You see how difficult writing can be for me who struggles with clinical depressive and anxiety? Am I the only artist who gets an access denied reply when attempting to get in creative motion? Okay, it's just me. Am I the only one who struggles with depression and anxiety who has desires to do a million and one things, but push past the thinking gate?  What we as artists face is not so much of a block, I prefer to call it a temporary moment of, access denied. Our mental health is fashioned the same way. We want to do this or that, access denied. We need to clean and cook, access denied. We need to shower and spiff ourselves up, access denied. You see your children running a muck, access denied. Is that poor house plant in

After a few work days of buses not showing up for their scheduled stops, me getting home close to 2 hours later than normal,  and no good sleep I'm reminded still, how good God is. Even the periodic snaps of depression and anxiety haven't caused me to forget how good God is. The key is encouraging myself because all storms pass. It amazes me to see so many people unaware of the true effects of mental illness. They tell you, get over it. They are the ones who have no debilitating physical or educational knowledge of the struggles. They don't understand the fight everyday to remain in a visual normal state of mind with tending to the tasks requiring your presence. They can't understand why you cry for no apparent reason. Unaware that some wish to lay down at any given time to sleep hoping to never awake again. Unaware that at any moment a fuse can blow in ones mind and all hell can be unleashed. Unaware that they may see beauty or bronze, while a depressive is seeing

5 am. I was sleeping and the Holy Spirit ushered me awake and this is the blog post that results from that obedience. I don't feel much love. I love me, God loves me, and I know few who love me, but what I give in my understanding of love, my cup is half empty. I'm not sad about it rather, I'm elated that if I can't have authentic and genuine love, I don't want the worthless  alternative. I'm not talking about man meets woman and they fall in love kind of love. Im talking about a genuine and true compassion, a fulfilling type love. I'm talking about the encouragement and motivation type love. I'm taking about like minds marching towards a purpose type love, together. Is that even possible without selfishness and conditions? I don't see it. I'm talking about true and authentic love. Oh, many claim and start, but they seldom finish only to change tracks in the middle of the journey. As the years pass, I now see people for who they only have th

There are so many things to be grateful for. The skies in blues and sometimes grays, the oceans and it's unpredictable  movement. The glistening of dew drops on green grass in the early mornings. The smile in a childs eyes unaware of life. Yes, gratefulness is all around us, if we look for it. Colossians 2:7 - "Having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were inatructed, and overflowing with gratitude." I couldnt let another day go by without saying "Thank You" to each of you who have taken the time to visit, read, share, and comment on The Unique View. This blog is therapy for me as I use it to one, share what God placed on my heart, to give a glimpse into my world as I experience and view it, and to encourage those who may feel alone , lost, and invisible, because I have felt that way too. Until one day, the light from the Lord poured down on me and exposed the gift of what you now have in the bles

It amazes me to listen to people talk about the negative more than the positive of life. I mean really, is their concept of life and living so clouded by adversity that they can not see anything positive? Has life for them been so dark that anything resembling light is foreign?  The state of the people saddens me and it should sadden you too. I find myself not wanting to talk nor listen. My spirit gets jaded when I hear so much talk about how this or that is wrong, how he or she did so and so. It's like there is nothing in the world, around the world to discuss other than addressing every negative aspect of living. Don't get me wrong, we should address them, but while doing so let's come up with solutions. Oh wait, that's work, hard work so no, solutions is not in their discussion. Negative participation escalates depression and anxiety.  Constantly focusing on, and addressing the negatives increases anger, heart break, and most of all anxiousness and feelings o

Over a week ago, I was sitting in a waiting room waiting for my sister friend who had an appointment, I was going over in my mind how far I have come by the grace of a good God. Though I read several books at a time, one book has my full attention, The Motivation Manifesto by, Brendon Burchard and let me tell you, this book gripped my face with full palm at the first page and chapter. I feel free to move unencumbered. Free in mind, body, and spirit. Free inspite of Clinical Depression and Anxiety, inspite of Cervial Spinal Stynosis, inspite of Osteoporosis and Degenerative Disc Disease trapessing through my bones. Oh yes, I'm free because I choose to see God's  healing instead of human despair. Change was the catalyst. Making any change can be paralyzing to many, especially to those who struggle with Depression and Anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and laziness. Every step forward is coupled with numerous fears. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, abandonment, and fear of succes

One year ago, today, is a day that I don’t want to forget. I will be forever reminded of just how fragile we are as human beings. Our minds and bodies were not meant to take on all that we often allow causing us to spiral out of control and unknowingly crash and burn. It’s when we feel the flames of life that we realize we are burning. The embers sizzle, crackle, and disintegrate into ashes of crushed emotions.  Mental illness is the ember that burns for so many. I don’t want to forget because that is the day the Lord had my full attention. That is that day that I became new and full. That is the day I realized that the masking of pain shattered. For that day, I am grateful and humbled. On April 6, 2016, I crashed and burned. The heat of life started at my feet and rose into the pit of my stomach dragging my mind down into the form of Clinical Depression and Anxiety. Throughout the following year, I took medication, attended counseling, and made drastic changes. I immersed mys

In my last post, I talked about our flaws and why we shouldn't hide them. When I say flaw, I do not mean to insinuate worthlessness. No, I am pointing out that what others may see as a flaw, God created as a masterpiece, unique and particular. Yes, everything about you is unique and that is why I express the importance of not hiding. The definition of a flaw: a mark, fault, or other imperfection that mars a substance or object. Our lives are filled with many flaws. Unable to give birth,  unable to read or write, unable to drive a motor vehicle.  Deeper flaws of the physical and emotional are disfigurement,  physical disability,  missing limbs., mental illness.  These are all unique. Why do I say unique?  Because each of the above mentioned is an open door to revealing much more than the flaw itself. It is an opportunity to share and enlighten someone who needs to hear your story and see the winner before them. Courageous. Not defeated or defective. As I continue to bala

From a young age I always felt that something about me was different. I am the youngest of 5. The age difference  between myself and my sibling above me is 10 years, imagine the age of the others. I did not connect with many, and those that I did feel a connection with seemed forced or maybe  tolerated. Throughout  my young life I experienced emotional pain. At the age of 7 I learned to retreat within myself and vowed to have no expectations of any kind out of fear. This is also the age when codependency was formed in my mind though I didn't realize  that until I was in my 30's. Abandonment, flaw.  Rejection, flaw. Trust issues, flaw. Broken relationships, flaw. Fear of being hurt, flaw. Fear of failing, flaw. Fear that someone would figure out that I was flawed, major flaw. Feeling inadequate and undesirable, flaw. Many of you are hiding just like I did. Hiding out in your own protective cage due to the fear of someone noticing and rejecting you, or ridiculing you for wha

As of October 2016, I have made some major changes in my life. Some would say, girl, I would not do that. Well, get this, you do not know what you will do until the situation presents itself. I have been living with family. I quit my job of 6 years. Now, I am letting the winds blow through my afro. Yes, I am on a mini retirement or sabbatical.  I don't have an agenda and I am not pressed for time or sleep. Well, I am still an insomniac,  but that's getting better.  Most importantly,  I am being still and really surrendering my heart, mind, body, and soul to the Lord. I struggle with depression and anxiety.  There are times when the sadness sets in and my joy is snatched,  but all Praises to God for His comfort and peace. Though the storm rages, I know the One who calms. Many say, "I don't hear God".  Guess what? God is speaking, it's that your emotional and physical noise level is to loud for you to hear Him. Psalm 46:10 NLT says, "Be still and kn