In my last post I shared the reality of the apartment complex
I am currently in increasing the rent by $150.00, many others were affected as
well. So this complex will have many vacancies. Awwwww. Side eye. Rent increases are taking place all
over the country making it very hard for working people to live comfortable and
in safety, some are even being forced into homelessness because they cannot
afford the outrageous rent prices, and the so called affordable, low income,
and subsidized is an illusion. Unless
you want to live in a ran down and dilapidated property, where slum lords are
only concerned about receiving their rent on time. Praise God that He will not
allow that direction for me. Though I have not secured my own lease as of this
post, I do have a roof.
For a depressive, all of the unplanned change could cause
spontaneous combustion. Surprisingly, I am not in the dark pit of depression.
That may be due to the medication, the self-talk, and determination to walk
this process out. It is absolutely due to my faith. I am feeling some anxiety due to the unknown
and that I am an imagined control freak. My patience is not short, it is gone.
My conversation is leaning towards the sign language that I should have taken
seriously in Jr. High School. Give me silence. Driving in my car is like a
rolling padded cell. My thoughts want to do a 200-yard dash, stopping suddenly
and then, do a long jump and a running leap off of the nearest cliff. That is how the effects of anxiety feel to me,
but don’t you worry, I am not going to harm myself, I have some grandchildren
to harass. LOL
I am excited about
the changes that were much needed because I was content and complacent. I am
over joyed for a fresh perspective. I
thank God because if it was not for Him and His grace, for His love letters of
peace and love, I would have scratched every piece of paint off of every wall
down to the bare 2 x 4. I would have pulled every nail out of that wall with my
teeth. A little dramatic right? For Real Doe!!!!!!!!! Imagine fingernails being
raked across the chalk board sound. My teeth hurt thinking about it. LOL. I am
absolutely on cloud 9. Not because I have won the Lottery, I would have to play
to even attempt a win. Not that my life is in a grand arena of bells and
whistles. Not even due to me no longer suffering from Depression and
Anxiety. I am on cloud 9 because I have
been pushed out of my comfort zone of imagined control. I say imagined control
because this woman is a control freak.
My Brothers and Sister, all of us have a journey to travel
and a cross to bear. All of have a testimony within us that is for someone, we
must now that it is not about us. So when you feel the earth move under your
feet and the skies seem to be cloudy and gray, know that god is up to
something. Rest in His presence. Rest in His word. And most of, instead of
frowning and complaining about the darts that come your way, stand up and swing
back. Raise your hands in total praise. I know that I cannot do anything without my
Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I lift my hands in total praise.
Be Blessed
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