Pearls continued

What is celibacy? It is basically not having sex until marriage. We can also be celibate from many things but this my the main focus because being a single christian woman, I have found that there is not much reading material available. I know I have been in my church for many years and I have yet to hear my beloved Pastor speak directly on the subject. Why? As I read what material is available and as I will myself to stay in the right lane while letting God drive, I am feeling worn down. Is this the evil spirits and principalities Paul writes about in Galatians Gods word has many examples on why we should abstain from sex until marriage. God created sex for the marriage bed not outside of it. He says to be fruitful and multiply, between man and woman. We all know this can not take place between two men or two woman but society will have you to believe that this commandment no longer applies, with the same sex vote now in legislation. Sad but true.

If you look back in history, there was the chastity belt and currently it still remains but the use currently is defanently not for its intended purpose. Praise God that we do not have those hideous thing now. Back in those days single unmarried men and woman wore them. It was used to prevent sexual intercourse. It was used by soldiers who felt sexual intercourse was going to happen, really? I wonder if we had a law that made it a mandate that all unmarried persons had to wear one, how this life would be today. I am sure there would be a shortage of single parenting outside of marriage. I could be wrong, I do tend to think outside of the box. And with thinking outside of the box, I have this tendency to look back. Look back at myself, my actions and behavior that truly only hurt myself. I am not a person who looks to hurt others, but if you know the cycle of pain, hurting people do hurt other people. The concept is that the one who is hurting has too at some point, look within. Throughout my years of taking chances, taking life for granted, the thing that really stuck is that when you freely give all of yourself be it sexually, emotionally and mentally, you are depleting the very spirit that was placed within you by God.

Though God is a forgiving God, he does not remove the consequences of our human actions. What goes around truly comes back around to bite you right in your backside. The consequences of life will follow us for the rest of our lives and if we do not, I say again do not stop the negative, destructive and in most cases dangerous behavior, we loose. And loose I did. What are we loosing? We loose self respect, emotion, mental stability and love. Love for self and others. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 is a powerful chapter in the Bible. Love is not destructive in any way, form or fashion. If used right this love can conquer and destroy the very negatives that are placed to destroy Gods people. Loving self is no a selfish thing however, it can be used selfishly. So with that, when God created Adam and Eve and all the creation with just a word, He meant for this all to be good. He said so. With the fall, we lost out on the very love that God created. But you know what, we can get all back and enjoy true intimacy in its proper fashion. We must check ourselves and let go of the notions that many walk in today. We must get back to the good stuff.

My struggle has been bitter sweet, it has been easy and it has been very hard. I know that within me lies a God given desire to walk in celibacy until that appointed time. I know that He has given me what I need to get through it day by day. Because I no longer have a desire to just throw myself away to undeserving parasites that mean me no good. I will myself to focus.

Here is an example, waking up this morning I should have been bugged about going to the dentist which I do not like as a matter of fact, I despise it. But noooo I felt what was like a doom creeping in to haunt me, why? Flesh, flesh and more flesh. You see God created us with emotion, with desire, with Love. And being made in this fashion the brain does not understand what it does get especially if it has been something that has been provided before and it likes. Denying the flesh is like telling the brain that its not wired correctly. The brain wants to think on that very thing you are trying to forget, for now anyway. In my waking this morning my mind raced back and forth, the flesh was active running a 400 meter on rocks with no shoes. Ouch!!!!!! Medic!!!!! So, what did I do? I talked to God. He created me so He knows me. I read where one of my favorite writers stated, if your looking for instructions on you, go to the creator and owner's manual. God is my creator and the word of God is my owner's manual. I called on the name of Jesus and let me tell you after saying the Lords name a few times, you will forget in that moment, if you love Him and trust Him. And praise God I have Him to turn too because the alternative can not be an option, today.

I share this so you will know, whom ever you may be that your not alone and that the battle of flesh is real. Some win, some loose. Today, I WIN.