Tuesday, November 4, 2014

A Beautiful Mind

 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.  Ephesians 6:10-18

Our minds can take us on a trip. A trip that takes us farther than we desired to travel.  Our thoughts are the sum of what we have learned and believe to be true. No one desires to just exist in life. We want to realize the fullness of life. In order to do that we must take inventory. Remove outdated stock. Purge useless notions. We must restock our mental shelves with newness.

It is November and many are getting ready for the onslaught of festivities. There are many who dread this time of the year. I have learned through trial and error that it is not that serious. I have come to realize that the most important thing is to appreciate the right here and right now.  I no longer get caught up in what others are doing or what others think I should do just because everyone else is doing it and because it makes them happy.  That is not living. That is codependency. Codependency is a psychological condition that keeps us in unhealthy and unhappy situations. I have a codependent personality. I learned this at the early age of 7.  Many years later a friend of mine gave me a book by Melody Bettie called Codependent No More, this is where my healing journey began.  Ask.com defines codependency below:

Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another.[1] It also often involves placing a lower priority on one's own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.[2] Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships.[2] Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, or control patterns.[2] Narcissists are considered to be natural magnets for the codependent.

Absolutely right on point. I could not have said it better myself.  Basically a codependent is concerned with the needs and actions of others and forgetting self.  Once I got that message I made changes. The changes took time and hard work because I had to learn how to love me. I had to open up wounds and allow them to heal correctly. I had to forgive myself and others. I had to let go of people and situations. Many will not do this. The most important thing I had to do was to admit and accept responsibility. This is where some fall off the wagon face first because they refuse to admit or accept any responsibility. It is so much easier to blame others. Stop it. Life is so much easier than the way you are living it.  The joy in knowing is half the battle to reaching a life of fulfillment and true happiness.  

Statistics show that millions of children are mother and fatherless. Drug abuse, gang violence, domestic violence, rape creeps in. Our young girls are looking for love and trust me they will find the illusion not the actual.  Boys are starving for a father figure and guess where they will find it, in the streets.  The cycle is meant to be broken and the only way to break that cycle is to look in the mirror. It starts with you. Just as you learned that behavior you can unlearn it and learn a new.  The next step is seeking out counsel to help you with tools for change. Don't be fooled that you can do it yourself. You can not.

Today take some time to evaluate who you are and what you want for your life.  Do you have children? Ask yourself what lessons are you teaching your them.  News flash, your children are watching you and what you do they will do also.  Go on and pull up your boot straps and turn over a new leaf.  Go ahead scream, shout, stomp your feet, cry even. What ever you do, do it in the positive because those are the results you want, positive. Start the journey to showing up and living. You are worth it. You are so worth it.

Be Blessed

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