Unless you have a chronic illness, you will never know what it is like for someone who does. You will never understand how on one day you can be on top of the world feeling no pain to the next day being taken down by the invisible attacker. Chronic pain comes in many forms. In my case, it is due to a condition called, cervical spinal stenosis. This is caused by the cervical bones in the neck pressing on the spinal cord causing anything from numbness in the limbs to shutting down the activity in your brain. Yes your spinal cord along with your heart is the central parts in your body, if they are not working properly, the body is tossed into confusion.
Today I feel defeated. I feel let down and totally unable to comprehend the capacity in which my life is being lived today, yet I strive to remain in a state of peace and faith. I don’t wear a mask for the world to see. Today I am feeling vulnerable in the fact that I want to give up. Give up on dreams and passions. Give up on faith. But check this out, that will not happen. You see, we are flesh first and then spirit beings. God has created every detail, every cell, every blood vessel, and every organ. God created us and He knows exactly what trial we will face and how we will face it. It is up to us to choose how. It is up to us to gird up our loins and stand firm in the peace that passes all understanding. Chronic pain is past our human understanding, but it is not for God. And this trial as with others will be used for His glory, and that is His ultimate plan.
As I watch the news and see the travesty of lead based drinking water in Flint, Michigan, the snow blizzards along the east coast that have claimed over 50 lives, especially the young mother and her infant child passing away in her car, can I really complain about the pain dancing up and down my spine? Can I really complain about the inability to have multiple good days instead of one or two in any given week? Just thinking about a young man who lost his legs due to a drunk driver, changing his life due to no fault of his own. Just thinking about the many elderly who are alone and without assistance. Thinking about the homeless and hungry, shelters filled to capacity. Looking not to myself, but to the many catastrophes taking place around the world, I absolutely should not dare fix my lips to complain. Complain I will not, but serve notice that I too suffer, yet alive. I too feel pain and discouragement, yet alive. I too feel broken and defeated, yet still alive.
2 Corinthian 3-4 NLT says this, All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
As I write, I am feeling encouraged. Not because the pain is lessoning, no, but because one of you will read this and say, that is me and I am not alone. I write it out because that way, my thoughts, ideas, and negative suggestions are emptied from my spirit and placed into the atmosphere serving notice to the enemy that, he will not win without a fight. Oh yes, I fight, but the battle is not mine. The victory is the Lords, and as long as I remain in that space, I win and so do you. We win by the blood of Jesus.
My brothers and sisters, get out of your way. Step back and really take a hard look around you. Nothing is promised us. We all in some form have taken this life and those in it for granted. We at some point whether knowingly or unknowingly turned a blind eye to a situation or person. This does not make you a bad person, it makes you human. Because you are exhausted and fed up, because you at this moment just don’t give a hoot as to what happens, because you have surrendered to the enemy by talking yourself into a fit of rage, you want to tap out. Guess what, you can’t and you won’t. You are needed. Your journey is not about you. Only the narcissist creates a bubble around him or herself creating an all about me song. Scratch the record and toss it out of the window. Get up and take your place. Share your story and sing a song of praise. Why? Because you are alive.